Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Prejudice : young doctors

In my mind a doctor should be someone older than me. But, having reached the great age of 40, I find myself going to consult doctors whom I feel I could almost have given birth to. And I don't like it. I know their kind, DH's god-daughter is studying medecine and she's so... well, young! She's so inexperienced in human lives and feelings that are different from hers.

Coming from France and experiencing the British health system I found that doctors here listen more to their patients. In France they want to give you a prescription to treat any and every of your symptoms. Here they don't want to give you a prescription but I really believe that what you gain is being more considered like a person than a sum of symptoms.

But when they're just out of school... What do they know about the life and struggles of a mum of four? And about children? About anything?!
Recently DS has had troubles with a persistent runny tummy... The young doctor I saw suspected food intolerance and advised to cut things out of his diet. Ok, so far it's sensible enough. What she shouldn't have said was "At this age (4 in January) they don't notice if you take something out of their diet."
...!!!!!!! I don't think I need to explain how this statement is wrong in so many ways.

How can you not be prejudiced when you entrust your children's health in somebody who so clearly doesn't understand what a child is about? I think it's important to know what someone is about to treat them.

I know doctors have to learn, have to start somewhere. But maybe their curriculum should include some basis in psychology, sociology, child psychology, counselling... Is that too much to ask?! ;)

#SnapHappyBritMums : Water

The Josephine Baker swimming pool, on the river Seine.

Water, with the proper safeguarding, is such a fun and fascinating element for children.

DS loved that parisian swimming pool where you can swim AND see boats go by and we were very lucky to be able to visit that place. But children can have fun with water with much more humble means! I remember spending litterally hours standing behind DD1 perched on a chair in front of the sink. An experience repeated with DD2 and Recipe Junkie's Pink when they were small!
There is always that wonder, with a very small child, of watching a stream of water and trying to catch it and so much more...

Water in a toy tea pot to pour again and again and again. 
Water in sports bottles to squirt on friends (a favourite everywhere with children on school run!).
Water from a fountain in the centre of town, running under the spray. 
Water in puddles, going in your boots when you jump hard. 
Water falling from the sky!
Water in the bath, trying to splash up to the ceilings and form hanging droplets (DD2...!).
Water in the river with little things living in it.
Water with colour added.
Water spat back in the glass with what was in your mouth (DS).
Water poured on Mummy's head in the bath to give her a shampoo.
Water spilled over from the paddling pool turning the garden into mud.
Water from a hose or a sprinkler, being sprayed and squeal and laugh.
Drops of water in the sky, turning light into a rainbow.

How do 'your' children play with water ?!

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

First day - Wednesday Witter #9

Back in France children often start school the year (calendar year) they turn 3, which means that some of them will start at 2 1/2. My own memories of starting school are of climbing stairs to my classroom while crying...

Whenever I find it hard to send my children to school I think of France and how, over there, I would have had to go through the separation process every single day of the week from when they were still quite little.

With DD1 it was hard enough to take her to Playgroup, two mornings a week. The very first time I didn't know what to do : stay for the whole session, stay a little bit, not stay at all ?! I should have asked the staff but, like DD1 I felt shy and unsure of the unfamiliar surroundings. In the end I stayed a little bit and, seeing all the other parents go, went... DD1 started screaming and crying while I took flight. I then sat outside for a good 15 minutes, crying. Passer-by were geeting worried ! I called DH and, in between sobs, said that I had left DD1 at Playgroup. He enquired "And ?", fear in his voice. To which I answered "That's it!!!" And that was it. Leaving her...

At the time I was still grieving my first boy. I had this notion that I had let him go and that I had failed in doing so, I should have saved him. And now I was letting my little girl go too...

She did calm down quite quickly that first day, but always anticipated the separation afterwards. I stayed with her for the whole session for 4 sessions but it didn't make things much easier. She was always happy at Playgroup though, it was just the saying good-bye part, for both of us.

It's probably one of the hardest parts of parenting, letting your children live for themselves, get hurt sometimes. It's a necessary process of growing up, for them as children and for us as parents.

And even my little boys, gone far away so early, I had to really let them go at some point. Accept, say good-bye...

Please, viisit the website of Saying Goodbye, a charity that aims to help parents who have suffered loss during pregnancy or soon after birth.