Monday, 15 April 2013

Handing over

 

'Holiday Camp'
You would think that, by child number four, I wouldn't have any more issues about handing them over into the care of someone else... 



Well, if anything it's yet the hardest with DB... Maybe it's because I know she will probably be my very last baby. Also she is the first one for whom I have had to find childcare before she goes into nursery school. I know it might sound pathetic but there it is! I haven't been a working mother and, as frustrating and infuriating as it can be at times to be a full time mum, going back to work is a big change.

I have now very nearly completed my breastfeeding counsellor training and I can't not put to good use all this hard work. I have found someone who will look after DB and with whom I feel 100% comfortable but still... 

Years ago when DD1 started Playgroup and I left her screaming "Mummy!!!", I was reduced to a blubbering mess outside. I phoned DH and, in between sobs, managed to say "I've left M. at Playgroup!" 
DH - he told me later - instantly imagined some sort of accident that had befallen our child, given my state. So he inquired "And...?"
To which I replied with renewd tears "That's all!!!"

Yes, that was all, just leaving my daughter in the care of strangers for the first time, so hard though...

And it doesn't get much easier, not with DD1 : first day at school, first residential trip away from home (last year), first sleepover, and probably soon first day at secondary school, then college, then university! Oh, the agony...! And not with DB with the first time I will have to leave her with her new nanny.

I must say that so far the feeling has been mutual. But maybe one day I will be that mother of a teenage daughter, embarrassingly and tearfully hugging her when she goes away :)


20 comments:

  1. That's a beautiful post, thanks so much for linking up to my hop and even more, displaying it on your blog. I feel so honored :)

    I'm looking forward to see you again at the next hop and if you'd like to get e-mail reminders, please subscribe @ http://blogspot.us4.list-manage2.com/subscribe?u=86c5eea2f9d691e2f5b321f18&id=0d6371dc2b.

    Happy, wonderful week.

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  2. Thank you for hosting !

    Have a great week too :)

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  3. I can completely emphasize with this! I am exactly the same about the youngest, it is definitely the hardest. I am a sentimental fool at the best of times but when its occasions like this I fall apart!

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  4. And my husband just laughs at me !! It's hard work to be a mum :)

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  5. I can so relate to this! My oldest will be 18 this summer. Wish I could stop the clock...

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  6. Well, I just lost the comment I was going to make! Yikes! However, the gist of it was, letting the first child go to preschool etc was actually easier than sending the second one off because with the first one, I still had the second one to keep me company. Good luck, be brave!

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    1. Thank you! Strange though, isn't it, how much we wish we had some time for ourselves when they're around and when they're not we miss them!

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  7. Totally emphathise with you. I am that embarrassing mother of teenager who still tucks notes in her schoolbag and picks up early from sleepovers! Helen

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    1. Haha! I'm sure she would miss it if you didn't do it ;)

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  8. I remember the handing over at nursery and school. They are heartbreaking moments, forever etched into our hearts, but of course the best bit is collecting them and being able to kiss and hug them... even at 13 years old much to my sons chagrin

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    1. I think it's still as hard for my parents when we go our different ways after a visit and I'm 41 ! But I understand them better now :)

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  9. I imagine we will all be one of "those" mothers one day. I have found everything hardest with my first but can't even bear to think about packing my baby off to secondary school. Noooooo!

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  10. Yes, it gets no easier and, as you know, i am in fresh turmoil over a new childminder. It is totally heart/instinct/gut over head! You know it is fine, but.....

    Thanks for linking up :)

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    1. That's it, 'but', such a capital word!

      Thanks for hosting!

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  11. Aww... I know the feeling. I felt like that when my older one went to day care, then kindergarten, then high school, then graduation :(. I'm starting over again with my 2 year old. I don't think it ever goes away. Thanks for stopping by my page!

    Jessica
    The Wondering Brain

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  12. You're right Jessica, it never goes away!

    No problem, thank you too :)

    Anne

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  13. Just wait 'til she leaves for college. Now, that's tough!

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2013/04/atoz-ww-n-for-naughty-pictures.html

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